Before You Arrive
- Be on time — five minutes early is the new on time
- Dress appropriately for the venue — you don't need to be formal, but you should have made an effort
- Silence your phone (or at minimum, notifications off)
- Be mentally present — leave work stress, family problems, and social media behind before you arrive
The First Minutes
- Greet warmly — a genuine smile and real "how are you?" make an immediate impression
- Compliment something specific — "that colour suits you" is better than "you look good"
- For men: hold the door, let her be seated first, these small acts of consideration cost nothing and mean something
- Don't launch straight into an interview — let the conversation breathe naturally
During the Date
Phone Down
Unless it's an emergency. Checking your phone says: you're not worth my full attention. Don't.
Listen More Than You Talk
Most people remember how someone made them feel, not what they said. Make them feel heard.
Ask Good Questions
Not an interview — genuine curiosity about what they've said, going deeper not wider.
Be Honest
Don't pretend to be someone you're not. If you're nervous, you can even say so — it's endearing and human.
Dos
- Be curious about their life — actually curious, not performatively
- Keep eye contact — not staring, but present
- Laugh genuinely — don't perform laughter
- Disagree respectfully when you do disagree — it's more attractive than agreeing with everything
- If you need to take a work call, apologise briefly and keep it very short
Don'ts
- Don't talk about your ex — at all, in any direction
- Don't brag (about money, success, connections) — it reads as insecurity
- Don't check them out obviously or make comments about appearance in ways that objectify
- Don't be on your phone
- Don't dominate the conversation
- Don't get drunk — even in social settings where alcohol is present
Ending the Date
If it went well — say so directly. "I really enjoyed this, I'd like to do it again." Clear, confident, no games. If it didn't — be gracious, thank them for their time, and be honest later via message if you're not interested. Ghosting after a date you met in person is a coward's exit.
The bottom line: Show up as your actual best self. Prepared, present, honest, interested. That's all a good date requires. The rest is chemistry — and chemistry can't be manufactured.